Most parents have heard about the power in praising your child. However, the way we praise is often either focused on a child’s physical traits or too general. For example: “What a pretty girl!” or “Good job!”. Below are some examples of praise that emphasize a child’s intrinsic qualities or acknowledge the effort of completing a task. It is valuable to incorporate this way of praising your child. For one, the child is less focused on their external appearance (something they cant necessarily change). Additionally, acknowledging the process as opposed to waiting for completion of a task offers more opportunity to strengthen perseverance and lessen anxiety about doing things to “perfection”.
Try some of the following examples with your own kids!
"You’re focusing so hard on that puzzle!”
“I like how patiently you’re waiting, even though you’re excited!”
“I am so proud of you for sharing with your brother!”
“You were such a good friend today when you ________________! (i.e shared your toys, let a friend take a turn)
What a smart idea!
“You cleaned up all by yourself”
You make me so happy!
I can’t believe how fast you ______________! (i.e. cleaned up, got ready for school)
I like how you think!
“What an amazing ________ + ER!”
This is one of my favorites because it’s silly, simple and can be used for almost anything! For example, instead of “Thank you for washing your hands”, try : “What a good hand wash-ER!”, “Who can be the best seat-belt buckle-ER?!”, “What an excellent table setter-ER!”. Using the action word connects the praise to the child completing the action and makes it more likely for them to repeat the positive behavior in the future.
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